Unknowns Are Scary | Series 1.1

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Welcome to the Enjoy More 30s: Family Finance

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podcast, the only podcast dedicated to making life more

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enjoyable for young families by hitting on the financial topics

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that tend to weigh on us, stress us out and distract our focus

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from simply enjoying life.

Joseph Okaly: 00:00:17

Hi and welcome to the Enjoy More 30s: Family

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Finance podcast. I'm really excited to have you here on the

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very first episode, "Unknowns Are Scary", where we're going to

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go over some things that you really should be knowing about

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unknowns when it comes to personal finance, and then some

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items to help you deal with those- what you can do about it.

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So this is the first episode and the first series, which is "Your

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Money Mindset", where we're going to be going over some

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basic mindset kind of setting items when it comes to personal

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finance topics, to get us ready to go more in depth into some of

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those items in later series.

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Why we have this podcast for you today is because, in my opinion,

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young families have a very difficult time getting proper

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advice in the environment that we've set up. So when you think

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about what you may have learned in school, I'm sure everybody

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here learned about Shakespeare or algebra, but very few people

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learn significant items when it comes to dealing with personal

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finance. And really everybody after school, we all have jobs,

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everybody after school, we all have families or a lot of us

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have families. And there are finance specific items when it

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comes to that, that we really need to be able to know about if

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we're going to do a great job for ourselves and the ones that

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we care about.

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Furthermore, from a professional advice standpoint, there really

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isn't a lot of that out there when it comes to helping young

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families specifically. And the reason for that is, in my

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industry, they tend to chase or they tend to go after people

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that are nearing retirement, because they have 401(k)s and

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things like that they can get rolled over, or families that

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have established money. And really, you know, they're

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chasing where they have the most income potential, which you

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know, makes sense. But unfortunately, that leaves a lot

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of people out, and specifically young families.

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This podcast is going to help provide some of that information

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that is so useful when you're young, and can go such a long

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way in removing any of that anxiety around some personal

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finance topics that we all may have. And really just allow us

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to enjoy time with our family, which is why we're here, and the

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finance element should not be getting in the way of having

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your life be as enjoyable as it as it possibly can. Overall, we

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aren't here to accumulate money and insurance products- we're

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here to enjoy life with our families. So if we could walk

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into any store tomorrow and pick out groceries, a vacation or any

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car off the lot without payment, you know, we wouldn't really

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care about money anymore. It would have no actual, real

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practical value to it. So money in itself, we have to remember,

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is not the actual goal. Doing what makes life most enjoyable

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to us is the actual goal.

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And so there are definitely more than enough retirement podcasts

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out there. There are podcasts that help you get out of credit

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card debt or rent your first apartment. But this one is

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specifically for you families out there who are young, you

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know in your 30s, and you're looking for help. You know you

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probably are a little bit more established in your career now

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and you have some money to you know, make these changes, secure

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your situation and then be able to remove the anxiety that

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they're related to. So you know, again, like you heard in the

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opening, we want to get rid of those things that weigh on us,

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stress us out and distract our focus.

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Now the last thing to just touch on real quick before we get into

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the actual episode is I currently, as of filming this,

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have two kids under four as of today. I have a four year old

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daughter and a one year old son, so I know time is precious. I

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don't have time myself for one and a half hour podcasts, or you

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know textbooks or anything like that, so episodes are going to

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be as short as I possibly can make them. I want to get you the

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information, not have you listened to me talk for 10 extra

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minutes. There's only so long before, you know, you hear a

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crash or cry in the next room- which sometimes we hear the cry

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and you know they're alive, so that could be okay. But yeah,

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the goal is to get you the information as quickly as

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possible in a way that you can process it, digest it and then

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take positive action off of that if you want to.

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We're going to start today's episode, "Unknowns Are Scary",

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off with a little bit of a story. My son Noah is just over

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one year old now, and when he was a couple days old we brought

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him home from the hospital. And we started to notice these

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little blistery bumps around his diaper line. And at first we

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thought it was just an irritation from the diaper, but

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after two, three, four started to pop up real quick, we quickly

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kind of knew that there was something more to it than just

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that. So we came to this realization at night, so we left

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a message for the pediatrician, becasue we wanted to go in and

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see them the next day. And I couldn't sleep at all that

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night, it was me just wondering what was wrong with him. You

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know, you go on your phone, and then you just open up a whole

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box of scary. And so, it was a very difficult night. Now the

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next day, we get an appointment with the pediatrician, they have

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us come in and they diagnose it as something called impetigo,

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which is a bacterial infection. And it's not a good infection to

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have, but if you know, you catch it early, and they gave us a

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prescription neosporin kind of a thing that we had to go to the

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pharmacy to get. And this poor little baby who's great

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throughout it, he has no shirt on, he's laying on my knees on

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the couch, and we have the ointment on, and he just he's

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sleeping there with his arms straight up in the air. But once

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that night happened, I wasn't scared anymore. Not because it

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wasn't difficult still, not because it wasn't challenging

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still, but because I knew what I was dealing with. I knew the

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name of it, and I knew the treatment that was required to

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have him be better.

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The same thing is true when it comes to personal finance. What

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you need to know is the unknowns from a finance standpoint, from

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a personal finance standpoint, they work the same way. So if

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you don't know where you are, and you don't know what you need

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to do to fix it, then it's scary. And what's even worse

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when it comes to finance is we don't always even know what we

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don't know. So Noah had a rash, it was a visual element, I could

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see that there was a problem. Finances don't always work that

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way. And if they do work that way, it's likely because it's

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much later in dealing with it then we should have dealt with

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it. So a typical young family, we've kind of boiled it down to,

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there are three major unknown type questions they need to be

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asking themselves. And now, for any of these before I even ask

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them, you do not need to know the answers right now, that is

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absolutely fine. But you should at least be aware of them so

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that you can ask them to yourself, and you and your

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spouse can discuss them.

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The first question is, 'what actually makes life most

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enjoyable to me?' And this may seem like a weird first

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question, because you know, a lot of people might be like,

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'well I know what I like to do.' But what makes it most enjoyable

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to me is really focusing on where we're putting our actions.

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So I'll give you an example for myself personally. When I was in

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middle school, all I wanted to do was get into the high level

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classes in high school. When I was in high school, I just

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wanted to get good grades to get into a good college. In college,

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then I want to, you know, get a good job. After a job, it was a

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spouse, and then I wanted to get married and have kids. And I'm

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sitting with my daughter when she was less than a year old in

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the middle of the night, trying to get her to go to sleep, and

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realizing I was already planning out her retirement. Okay, now

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when the kids move out, we're going to do this and that. And I

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was jumping from one thing to the next and not giving the

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present enough of my attention. The 18 years or so that I'll

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have my kids before they move out, those are going to be

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really unique special times, and obviously, I don't want to be

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rushing that.

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So yeah, we definitely need to have long term goals of an early

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retirement and covering college, but we need to make sure that

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we're focusing and not losing sight on what actually makes

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life most enjoyable to us today. So my wife Lauren and I also

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added in some more, you know, current year present goals that

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we want to make sure we're not losing sight of on top of those

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longer term traditional, you know, retirement and paying for

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college and stuff, that kind of stuff. So we now want to visit

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two new places we've never been to every year. We want to make

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sure we're staying at unique, you know, Airbnb, places that

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will really have like a memory to them when we look back on it

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with our kids. You know, Disney is certainly on there, maybe a

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pool is on your list and so forth. So this first question

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is, you know, 'what actually makes life most enjoyable to

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me', and then proactively not losing sight of that.

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The second question here is, 'if I keep saving at the current

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rates, where will that get me?' So everybody out there is

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probably saving to some degree, but where will that actually get

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you right now? What track are you on? And this really ties

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very heavily into that first question because if we know what

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track we're on for college, and retirement, we know how much

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extra now we have to do things today. So a lot of times we can

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be afraid to do a trip, or do a renovation or whatever it might

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be, because we're not sure about what track we're heading on for

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some of these other major important items. And so since we

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still have anxiety with some of those, we can't release and be

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able to do some things that might be more enjoyable in the

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present. But if I was able to tell you, "Hey, if you save X

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amount today, and every month going forward, retirement and

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college will be covered", wouldn't that be a huge relief

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to you? Wouldn't that just free what mentally to enjoy living

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more that you knew these major milestone things, if I just did

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a, b, and c, they would be covered?

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The last of these three questions is, 'if I died, or was

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disabled, tomorrow, what would happen?' And this is kind of the

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protector element, but first, before you can protect anything,

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you need to know what you're trying to protect. So some

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people may want their spouse to be able to stay home with the

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kids. Others may want to cover child care, but they still want

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to keep working to some degree. So we have some clients who

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even, you know, they say I would go live with my parents. And

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that's even a very different scenario. So there is no right

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or wrong scenario. It's just what scenario would you want to

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have happen, God forbid one of these terrible events occurred

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in your life, because each scenario translates into

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different coverage. So you first need to know what you would want

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to happen, and then you can solve for it.

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These three questions are all going to be answered in parts of

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future episodes and much more detailed diving into them. But

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this first series is just setting your mental mindset when

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it comes to money. And so these are the same questions that

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everybody should be asking themselves. As young families, I

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kind of said at the outset, we don't get enough finance

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direction as young families from our professionals in the

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industry or from our education system, and we wind up falling

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into more of a box checking approach. I'm supposed to save-

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okay, check that box. I'm supposed to have a 401(k)- okay,

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check that box. I'm supposed to have life insurance- okay, get

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some through work, I guess I'll check that box. I'm supposed to

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have a 529 plan for college- okay, I check that box, I have

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one. And the thing is, if you notice, that doesn't tend to

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really get rid of your anxiety because it's not removing the

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unknown. You have the 401(k), but is it enough? I have the

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life insurance, but is it enough? I'm saving for college,

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but is it enough?

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If you know the answers to these three questions that we just

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went through, now you're removing the anxiety, you're not

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just checking a box of something that it sounds like you're

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supposed to have. So what can you do? And this is pretty

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simple- you need to discuss these three questions with your

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spouse. Again, there are no answers that are needed today or

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tomorrow, but you should be starting down this mental kind

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of a path. So again, let's just recap those three questions for

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you. The first is, 'what actually makes life most

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enjoyable to me?' Two is, 'if I keep saving at the current rate,

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where will that get me?' And the third question is, 'if I died or

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was disabled tomorrow, what would happen? What would I want

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to happen?' And start with those first three questions with your

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spouse, and what you may find is that you get to a point where

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you have more clarity on these than you thought was possible.

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And sometimes your answers aren't the same as you would

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expect from your spouse. So you know, talking and asking the

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questions is always the first step for any of our clients

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because you get clarity on what you're trying to do and where

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you're trying to go. And I know that this works, because this is

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what I go through myself. You know, I've had these these

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questions and these conversations with my spouse.

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And we have clarity on where we're going, we have clarity on

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what we want to do, we have clarity on how we would protect

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ourselves, God forbid in those scenarios, and so I don't spend

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one second of any day worrying about it. I don't have any

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anxiety about any of those items, and that's what I want to

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try taking steps to help you with as well.

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As young families, we have a lot on our plate for sure. But by

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taking just kind of a little bit of time to see where we're going

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and make sure we're going in the direction we actually want to,

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it can remove that anxiety around all those. So thanks very

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much for tuning in. If you enjoyed this episode, please

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make sure to review us on Apple podcasts or wherever you listen.

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There are literally millions of young American families out

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there we're trying to reach and help just like you. So our next

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episode will be coming up shortly. It's entitled "Like

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Super Gymnast Flexible", covering the flexibility that we

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should all be having in our financial situations as young

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families. So thanks very much and I look forward to connecting

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with you again soon.

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The conversations on this show are

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Joe's opinions and provided for general information purposes

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only. They do not constitute accounting, legal tax or other

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professional advice for your specific situation. You should

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always seek appropriate advice from a financial advisor,

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accountant, lawyer or other professional before acting upon

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any content or information found here first. Joe is affiliated

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with New Horizons Wealth Management LLC, a branch office

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of TFS securities Inc, and TFS advisory services and SEC

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registered investment advisor member FINRA/SIPC