Your Parents Trust Their Advisor | Series 3.2

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Welcome to the Enjoy More 30s: Family Finance

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podcast, the only podcast dedicated to making life more

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enjoyable for young families by hitting on the financial topics

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that tend to weigh on us, stress us out and distract our focus

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from simply enjoying life.

Joseph Okaly: 00:00:16

Hello and welcome to the second episode of the

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"Your Parent's Money Mindset" series. Last episode, we covered

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how to start having a conversation with your parents

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about money. And today we're going to start talking about who

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they are likely talking to and taking their advice from now and

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how. So today, we're going to cover what you need to know

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about how your parents have likely made decisions up to this

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point. And what you can do to be respectful of where they are

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now, while you know at the same time raising some other points

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of view for them to at least consider.

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There comes a point where you grow up enough. Probably as it

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was for me, once I had my first job working at CVS, where you

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kind of see how hard it is to make money. I worked for a

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couple weeks, and after all the taxes and fica and all that kind

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of stuff, I got a check that I was less than enthused with- my

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minimum wage salary. So when you go to the supermarket, for me at

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least, I started to see some of the prices a little bit

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differently because I now had somewhat of a base, or a

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foundation, for how hard it was to actually make money. Previous

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to this moment, I, and maybe you, probably just threw things

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into the cart, and mom paid for it, right? I remember my first

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trip to the grocery store with my mom under this new lens, so

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to speak. We are in the dish soap aisle, and she reached over

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and grabbed a bottle of Dawn. Right next to it was a bottle of

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discounted dish soap that was half the price. And so I said,

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"Mom, you know, let's just get this one. It's much cheaper, I'm

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sure it cleans plates, it's probably fine." But she would

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have none of it. She liked Dawn, she always had Dawn, this was

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her soap. And I remember actually leaving the supermarket

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a bit heated, as it just seemed so nonsensical, irrational to me

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to pay more for the same kind of product to clean your plates.

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So what you need to know is that we all have very strong ties to

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certain products. And that goes for certain people too. Now a

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quick aside, before I kind of finish this transition, I have

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to admit that I do myself now buy Dawn. I don't know how much

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better it works than the other guys, but it reminds me of

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growing up and my mom always had it. So you know, there you go,

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they reeled me in too.

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Anyway- you can see the point. And if you think about it, I'm

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sure you have associations yourself that are very

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ingrained. If your parents do use some kind of an advisor,

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they likely have been with them for a long time at this point,

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and are very, very trusting of them. Which in and of itself is

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not a problem. If you are still using someone that you don't

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trust, you know, what are you doing, right? But the difference

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that I have seen over my 13 plus years as an advisor, is that

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generationally how you get there is very different. For our

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clients that are in their 50's 60's 70s, we tend to get a lot

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less probing questions. It's more of a you know, "You're the

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advisor, the expert, so you tell me what to do, and you know,

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I'll do it" kind of a thing. It's honestly very easy to work

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with, and we were always doing what's in their best interest

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anyway. But you know, there's a lot of different advisors out

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there. What I love about younger clients in their 30s, though, is

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that we do get more questions, which may seem odd at first. But

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you know, why do you recommend this? Well, how does that work

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exactly? What other things should we be aware of? If this

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was your situation, would you be doing the same thing? So not

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questions that are necessarily skeptical or argumentative, but

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rather really good questions to fully understand the 'why'

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behind anything we recommend, which is really fantastic. You

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should fully understand the why before you take action.

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So what you can do is again, respectfully, if you have opened

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the lines of communication so to speak for financial type items

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as we described in that last episode, you can then progress

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into some of these why questions to maybe have them more fully

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evaluate their positions. So here you can lead into questions

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such as- how confident were you that you could retire? When they

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did their kind of evaluation, what did they assume for

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longevity? How long did they assume you were even going to

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kind of live for, to not outlast your money? You have annuities,

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you know, do you know how they work exactly? Do they guarantee

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money for both of you? Does the remainder go to the kids? Does

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it go to the insurance company? When did you last review your

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beneficiaries? Do you have contingents or backups listed?

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If something were to happen to me, you know, would the money go

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to my children, or would it go, you know, to my siblings? Do you

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know which pieces of what you have transfer directly to your

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beneficiaries, versus the items that have to go through your

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will? As a quick aside, it's a lot of them. Any retirement

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accounts, or any directly titled like TOD beneficiary accounts.

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If they have multiple advisors, why do you have your money kind

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of spread out with all these different people? If they don't

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know what other pieces of your situation are out there, isn't

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it kind of hard for them to know everything they have to to make

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sure they're giving you good advice for your overall

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situation? So you obviously don't want to ask all these

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questions at the same time in repetition. And overall, you

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know, if you don't know the possible answers to these

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questions either, that's okay. So we're going to cover them

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later in this series, but I think you can sense the weight

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some of them hold.

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Shouldn't you know the longevity assumptions that were used at

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any evaluation done? If you have annuities, shouldn't you know

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how they work, and who they might ultimately go to?

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Shouldn't you know if your beneficiaries are correct? And

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what assets you have would actually go through your will,

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and what assets wouldn't? Now these are all, as far as I'm

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concerned, rhetorical questions. The answer is yes, yes, yes. But

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this is just a great starting piece for taking that next step,

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to really have them start thinking. So the first set of

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questions from the last episode, were building that bridge. Now

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that the bridge is, you know, structured to some degree, ask

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them questions for them to kind of think about and evaluate- do

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I really know everything that I should about how I'm organized?

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So a quick recap of today is- don't underestimate the trust

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your parents likely have in w oever they're working with. T

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ey likely have a very, very l ng relationship with them at t

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is point. Secondly- is while y u may be used to asking why b

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sed questions, your parents m y not be. They didn't grow up w

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th the internet to, you know, f ct check or self research e

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erything. If the professional s id it was this way, then a lot o

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times you kind of just went w th it. Lastly- if you are able t

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ask some of these more t ought provoking questions, p

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ease be respectful. Again, the g al is to have them think and e

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aluate and ask your opinion, if hey want to, as needed. The

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quickest way I guarantee you to get shut out is to go up and

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have them have their kid preach down to them- so try to a

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oid that.

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As always, thanks for tuning in today. If you are able to

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implement what we cover, then that is just fantastic as

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lways. You now have less to orry about than before and can

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ocus more on enjoying life. If ou're wanting help with these

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hings, though, or have uestions you need to help and

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larify, check out the 'Ask Joe' ection on the show's website-

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ww . enjoy more 30s .com, hat's enjoy more three zero s

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com. If you enjoyed this pisode, please make sure to

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ubscribe and review us on Apple odcasts or wherever you listen.

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here are literally millions of oung American families out

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here I'm trying to reach and elp just like you. Taking two

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econds to write a review, tap a tar makes a big difference. The

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ext episode is "What About Mom? urviving Spouse = CFO", where

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e're going to cover how a urvivor spouse, statistically

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enerally the wife, have not istorically always been in the

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oop with the finances, yet ar often thrust into this role and

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of course, what you can do abou helping them in that dynamic. S

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until next week, thanks fo joining me today and I loo

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forward to connecting with yo again soon

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The conversations on this show are

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Joe's opinions and provided for general information purposes

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only. They do not constitute accounting, legal tax or other

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professional advice for your specific situation. You should

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always seek appropriate advice from a financial advisor,

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accountant, lawyer or other professional before acting upon

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any content or information found here first. Joseph is affiliated

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with New Horizons Wealth Management LLC, a branch office

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of TFS securities Inc. and TFS advisory services, an SEC

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registered investment advisor member FINRA/SIPC.